My wife

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18

My wife played a major role in my healing journey and I am always thankful and grateful for her. One of the readers sent me this email address about my wife and I loved her question.

Hi Lazarus, Are you the author of this book? If so I do admire not only your courage but your kindness in spreading the word of awareness to the parents and giving hope and a road map to everyone who is struggling with sin.

I just would like to know your wife's role with you. The book mentions only her role as a fiancé which was exceptional but how did she deal with it after marriage? Did she have to do something way above and beyond?

Please feel free not to answer if not comfortable with it.

Thank you so much!

Mariam

Here is my answer

Mariam Yes I'm the author of the book and after I received my miraculous healing I couldn't resist the urge to spread the news and give hope and awareness to others. Under guidance from my father of confession and help from my lovely wife I was able to write this book. Thank God that he allowed me to write this book.

To answer your question Me and my wife were engaged for 23 month approximately. I confessed my sins to her and told her all the truth 3 or 4 month after our engagement. So my wife saw me fighting porn and I stayed porn free for 20 month while we were engaged. Trust me it was a true miracle that I couldn't explain I only relapsed 2 or 3 times and I told my wife about them. I hated porn and I didn't want to build my marriage upon sin and finding a partner who loved me as I am and supported me killed any desire for porn. Also, my wife saw me as a servant and deacon before I told her the whole truth so she believed me that I hated porn and I am struggling to recover. The best definition for addiction I heard was addiction is an illness. Exactly like what Saint Paul said in Romans 7:17 "But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me." I read a commentary in the orthodox bible about this passage saying the following

"Man is not sinful by nature. The Orthodox Church rejects any teaching that man has a “sin nature” or that man's nature is depraved to the core. This passage clearly shows that sin is something distinct from our nature. Because we are created in the image of God (Gn 1:26), there is an indelible goodness in our nature that can never be undone. While we can become immersed in sin, we know that it is still not part of our nature, but a foreign force that dwells in us. Thus, sin is what we do, not what we are"

So 20 month before marriage thanks to God's grace I never watched porn again. My wife was always a blessing in my life she helped me write this book and reviewed all the drafts I wrote. My wife supported me so much when I had emotional breakdowns about my childhood. My wife supported me when I closed my eyes at beaches or swimming pools so I don't look at women bodies. My wife hugged me when I was crying afraid of watching porn because I'm traveling alone. My wife never reminded me of my sinful past nor disrespected me because of my sins on the opposite she was always respectful to me. My wife always supported me in going to church regularly because we can't afford as a family not going to church. Finally, we are not a perfect couple we have our issues but whenever I'm upset I have a lot of good memories to look at and I believe she was an angel that God sent to me and helped me recover. I hope this answers your question and thanks for the nice review.

A final word is never to marry a porn addict unless he stops first. Porn is a terrible sin that no girl should tolerate. Unless that person is truly repenting from heart and shows progress then don't marry him.

Regards Lazarus of Alexandria

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