Don't Be Salty !!

One day a novice monk asked his mentor, “Your reverence has told me that my sins are forgiven; but Abba Isaiah said, ‘as long as a person’s heart continues to delight in sin, then it still has yet to be forgiven.’ I continue to delight in my sin, even until now. For this reason I don’t think it is forgiven yet. This causes me to despair and leads my thoughts to taunt me saying, ‘God has left you.’ For I have been experiencing savage warfare from the passion for lust and adultery all week.”

He responded with, “I have told you your past sins have been forgiven. Did I say that the enemy has stopped warring against us? The monk must struggle one way or another. So, if you have no sin, the devil will incite the desire for sin in your thoughts. As for what Abba Isaiah said, it is about those who still commit the act, and enjoy doing it. Recalling the sweetness of honey is one thing, but actually tasting the sweetness is another all together. Therefore, the one whose old sins are forgiven is he who recalls the pleasure of sin, but does not do the things associated with this pleasure. Instead he fights to distance it from himself. The devil fights us with many thoughts and ideas. Among them is telling the weak that their sins are not forgiven. Be very cautious of this, for he does it to cut off their hope. As for the warfare concerning lust, the person must set himself to hard work and humility. For without effort and humility no one would be saved. God will never let us down or leave us. As long as we don’t forsake His love or cut ourselves off from Him, He will never leave us. For His will is that we all take refuge in Him and are saved.”

Commentary on the Story 

For the novice who just recovered from sexual addictions; an important question always comes about the past. The past that keeps haunting him saying your sins aren’t forgiven and reminds him of the sweetness of sin trying to lure him back into sin. These words of wisdom offer great advice on how to deal with remembering the sweetness of sin. Let’s face it we might repent but we still remember the sweetness of sin. This is what we pray about in Coptic liturgy saying “Save us from the remembrance of evil entailling death.”. Remembering the sweetness of sin is the way we are programmed as humans in our brain, as we tend to come back and repeat pleasant experiences. But exercising self control and finding true sweetness in Christ is the ultimate cure to this. Notice here the elder clearly distinguishes between remembering the sweetness of sin and tasting the sweetness of sin. As long as we are not tasting we are ok, because Satan will keep reminding us of the sweetness of sin aiming to bring us back to our addiction. Jesus warned about remembering and tasting the sweetness of sin as he said “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62. Saint Cyprian commented on this verse saying: “The Lord warns us of this in his gospel lest we return to the devil again and to the world, which we have renounced and from which we have escaped. He says, “No one, having put his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Again he says, “And let him who is in the field not turn back. Remember Lot’s wife.” Lest anyone, either because of some desire for wealth or by his own charm be persuaded from following Christ, he added, “He that does not renounce all that he possesses, cannot be my disciple.”[1] 

This commentary brings us to a very relevant biblical story about remembering the sweetness of sin: the story of Lot's wife in Genesis 19:1-38. Lot, his wife and two daughters were visited by two angels who urged them to flee the city of Sodom before it's imminent destruction by God. Genesis 19:17 reads “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!”. Notice the biblical verse says don’t look back meaning don’t remember the sweetness of sin.  As they fled, Lot's wife disobeyed the angels' command to not look back and was turned into a pillar of salt. Genesis 19:26 reads “But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.” In commenting on this biblical passage Saint Ambrose says “Let us flee like Lot, who feared the crimes of the people of Sodom more than their punishments. A holy man surely, he chose to shut his house to the men of Sodom and flee the contagion of their offenses. When he dwelt with them, he did not come to know them, for he did not know their outrages and turned away from their disgraces. When he fled, he did not look back on them, for he did not desire to associate with them. The one who renounces the vices and rejects the way of life of his fellow citizens is in flight like Lot. Such a person does not look behind himself but enters that city which is above by the passageway of his thoughts, and he does not withdraw from it until the death of the chief priest who bore the sin of the world. He indeed died once, but he dies for each person who is baptized in Christ’s death, that we may be buried together with him and rise with him and walk in the newness of his life. Your flight is a good one if your heart does not act out the counsels of sinners and their designs. Your flight is a good one if your eye flees the sight of cups and drinking vessels, so that it may not become envious as it lingers over the wine. Your flight is good if your eye turns away from the woman stranger, so that your tongue may keep the truth. Your flight is a good one if you do not answer the fool according to his folly. Your flight is good if you direct your footsteps away from the countenance of fools. Indeed, one swiftly goes astray with bad guides; but if you wish your flight to be a good one, remove your ways far from their words.” [2]

Concerning Lot’s wife who looked back Origen says “let us see if perhaps Lot, who did not look back, is not the rational understanding and the courageous soul, and his wife here represents the flesh. For it is the flesh which always looks to vices; when the soul is proceeding to salvation, the flesh looks backward and seeks after pleasures.”[2] Same concept was explained by Saint Paul in Romans 7:22-23 “For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members”. We are living struggling between the soul who seeks salvation and the flesh who looks back desiring pleasure and sweetness of sin. The real failure is to taste back the sweetness of sin, struggling is actually normal as Saints struggled same as we are struggling every day. Actually, struggling against sin and thoughts of sin is a crown we will receive in heaven. In quote 471 of the paradise of desert fathers titled “ An Unknown Elder” it says “An elder once said that he was troubled by certain thoughts for nine years–to the point that he had given up on his salvation. Out of fear, he constantly said that he was damned. Yet, when his hope was almost completely crushed, a voice came to him saying, “All these trials that have pursued you these nine years are crowns upon your head. Do not tire. Do not give up the fight.” His hope was renewed at hearing this voice–the thoughts simply faded away.”

Lot’s wife becoming a pillar of salt is analogous to the status of any porn addict who’s bitter, hesitant in moving towards God, always looking back craving sin and eventually fully paralyzed and motionless like a pillar. Saint Clement of Alexandria says “For God looks closely at the actual inner purpose, as when Lot’s wife was the only one to turn of her own free will toward the wickedness of the world. He left her insensible, giving her the likeness of a pillar of salt and leaving her without the power of forward movement, a statue, yet not one without a useful message but one intended to season and salt the person capable of spiritual perception.” As we seek recovery and salvation from sexual sins, there is no looking back, no lingering. Doing so will only result in our destruction. Lot’s wife failed in doing so and this had fatal consequences; we need to run without looking back. In psalm 45:10-11 God speaks to the human soul saying “Listen, O daughter, Consider and incline your ear; Forget your own people also, and your father’s house; So the King will greatly desire your beauty; Because He is your Lord, worship Him.”. God is clearly calling us in these verses to scorn the flesh and our sinful ways and embrace Jesus the bridegroom to the human soul, God is calling to completely forget and not to look back. St. Gregory of Nazianzus says “Snatch  your soul away from the world; flee from Sodom; flee from the burning; travel on without turning back, lest you should be fixed as a pillar of salt”[3]

Notice the verse says in psalm 44 that “the king will greatly desire your beauty”. God still sees us beautiful even if we are in deep sin. While addicted to pornography we fail to see ourselves beautiful and this lowers our self-esteem and keeps us trapped in a vicious circle of sin. We are beautiful because we are created in “his image” Genesis 1:27. We are beautiful because we carry his traits in us and we are capable of being virtuous which is the true beauty. We are beautiful because we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” Psalm 139:14. We are beautiful because God explicitly says that He desires our beauty (Psalm 44:10). We are beautiful because God said in speaking to the human soul “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.” Song of Songs 2:10. We are beautiful because God is “delighting in mankind” Proverbs 8:31. Finally, we are beautiful because He loved us and died for us “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” John 3:16

References 

1-Just Jr., Arthur; Oden, Thomas C.. Luke: Volume 3 (Ancient Christian Commentary on Scripture) (p. 169). InterVarsity Press. Kindle Edition. 

2-Sheridan, Mark; Oden, Thomas C.. Genesis 12-50: Volume 2 (Ancient Christian Commentary on Scripture) (pp. 77-78). InterVarsity Press. Kindle Edition. 

3-Michael Lofton, St. Jerome Study Bible: Genesis - Ruth (CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, n.d.).